


Bad Dialogue and Short Stories

by anxiousartichoke



Series: On Hiatus Forever [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: I AM A BEACON OF SIN, I take requests!! i love requests!!! i have no idea of what I'm doing!!!, Multi, Short Stories, VERY Short Stories, reader is also not gendered unless otherwise specified, reader is not frisk unless specified, stories will have individual tags, this is a huge disaster of fluff / angst / whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-05-29 21:16:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6394180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousartichoke/pseuds/anxiousartichoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what it says on the tin -- Ridiculous, over the top fluffy short stories that average out at about 500/1000 words each. Some might be a little more serious than others. I'll try to add something every day.</p><p>5/10 Updates will potentially be more regular! Deleted some chapters that were spoilers for full-length fanfiction I'm working on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleepover

**Author's Note:**

> TUMBLR - http://soulicide.tumblr.com

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne and Reader have a sleepover.   
> No real warnings or things to add.

"What if we're in like, an infinite time loop, and some weird kid keeps resetting the timeline? Wouldn't that make for a fun video game? I'd play that." 

 

"Please go to sleep." 

 

"Have you ever like... Kissed anyone?"

 

Undyne's voice was groggy. She was your friend, she invited you to sleep over at her house... But she loved to talk. Question after question. The giddy sleepover mood had long since dissipated, and the frustratedness set in.. You stared down at her from your place on the couch, mouth curved in disgust. Despite everything, she was still hell-bent on keeping "all nerds but one" out of her bedroom. 

 

"I have work."

 

"Just answer the question, nerd!!"

 

You stuck your tongue out at her in the darkness as if it would do something. "Ugh, fine. Yes, I have."

 

"Huh." The sound of shuffling ensued. "Were they cool?"

 

"Is this nec--" You felt an eye staring at you. "Alright... I guess it is. Uh, yeah. On the surface, I had a boyfriend when I was seventeen. He was, well, cool. He was everything I wanted to be. Except... Assholish. I didn't like him very much now that I think about it." You sighed.

 

“Did he ever hurt you?” Her tone was serious. With a blue flash, the beginnings of an energy spear began to form. You shielded your eyes from the bright light.

 

“He did, but he’s not part of my life anymore. It’s alright. I promise. No spears.”

 

"I'll kill him if you want," She yawned, "when we get back to the surface and stuff." The edge departed as quickly as it came. She sounded as tired as you did now.

 

"Killing people isn't punk rock, Undyne. You know what's punk rock? Cuddling. And...not destroying humanity. If that offer stands for any human, though, I’ll take it one day.” You shuddered and thought about politics for a moment.

 

"Humans are awful, though!!" There was a slight pause. "...Some humans are okay, I guess????? Anyway, Is that an invitation?" 

 

"An invitation for what--" You didn't understand the question at first, but then you realized. "If you think there is ANY POSSIBLE WAY for both of us to fit on this couch I swear to god I won't save you in Hotland next time."

 

It was too late. A sleepy fish crawled up onto the couch. Tangled in her sleeping bag, she took the place you were once laying down. You blinked at her, sinking between the couch cushions.

 

“Hotland sucks!!! Why would I go over there in the first place?” Her words grew sloshed as she yawned mid-sentence. She looked at you expectantly. “Aren’t you gonna, like, cuddle or something? You wanted this.”

 

Confused and half-asleep, you didn’t have much of a choice. You elected to go about this in a koala-esque fashion. You were more or less trapped against the couch cushions anyway. You tangled your legs with her’s, and brought an arm around her waist. She seemed content with this, and immediately assumed a death-grip around your middle. At least you were somewhat comfortable and could breathe.

 

Pretty soon, her breathing grew softer, soul pulses slowing down to a gentle beat.

 

"...Undyne...?"


	2. Soul Touching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans/Reader c:

“So, I’ve been wondering for awhile… I want to, uh, hold? No. Not.. Hold. Like, touch the, your…that… Doesn’t sound right. Uh, um… Your,” You made an awkward heart shape with your hands. The confused skeleton who sat next to you on the couch didn’t seem to understand. A thick blue blush spread across his face.

 

“it’s a little early for the bone zone, isn’t it?” The white lights in his eyes got a little wider, and he sounded alarmed. He stared unblinking at you.

 

Now YOU were a flustered mess. “No, that’s not— Well, yes, it is. But, more than that! Think… higher. Like,… uh.. your soul? I think that I, we, are there? In all of this.” You exhaled sharply and averted your gaze. It was a deep question, and of course you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. Again, you shaped your hands into a makeshift heart. 

 

A tense silence fell over the two of you. You berated yourself for wanting something so inherently intimate. His soul was cracked from battles he never talked about and grazing it with a fingernail would turn him to dust. You knew that, didn’t you? Why were you like this? Were you good for nothing but making things awkward? 

 

But still, you trusted yourself. It must’ve shown on your face, as he turned your face towards him. He nuzzled his forehead on your’s and unzipped his hoodie. In the darkness of his rib cage, where a human heart would’ve been rested a grey soul. It occasionally pulsed a soft blue like lightning that filled in the cracks. You reached for it, looking into his eyes for confirmation to go forward. He nodded and rested his hands on your shoulders.

 

The safety and calmness you felt was indescribable. The very culmination of his being radiated warmth that melted your anxiety. It pulsed and fluttered in your hands as you encased your hands around it like one might a moth. You kept looking up at him, and he'd smile at you. He'd remind you it was okay. It was mutual. 

 

He seemed just as worried as you were to return the favour. Sweat started to bead from his skull and you released him. 

 

"Did I do something wrong? Are you alright?!" You slid back on the sofa and took his entire visage into your sight. 

 

"no, you're fine! i promise! i want to, uh." he motioned with his face to your chest and then back to your face. 

 

"Oh, right! Duh. Okay! Just... don't accidentally fuse with me, okay?" 

 

"that doesn't sound too bad, actually. Would I get nice hair?"

 

"Sans..." You rolled your eyes.

 

You both took a deep breath and scooted closer than you had been. Assuming your previous positions, he drew your soul out with a bit of effort and experimentally put his hand around it. You didn't become one ultra-monster, so it was going better than you had planned. Your soul was a gentle green in colour, a few scratches covering its surface as well. You sat like that for a long time cupping lifelines like they might melt. Nothing else seemed to matter then and there, despite being in your most vulnerable state.

 

“i…” He started giggling at his own joke already. “i heart… you a lot.”

 

“Never make that joke again." 

 

"Was it a little too... touching?" 

 

You sighed, and gave Sans a kiss on the cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want a fluffy thing? Request it!


	3. Heart-Shaped Spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You had troubles with sleeping alone, and Papyrus invites you to cruise while you snooze with him.  
> The taller skeleton needs love, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i needed Papyrus fluff so have this monstrosity.

You felt a little guilty, replacing Sans with Papyrus without a second thought. With the shorter skeleton on watch that night, awful dreams swept your half-asleep vision. You weren't going to suffer alone. He invited you initially, didn't he? You had a lot of trouble being by yourself since... Well, having a bad time you would never forget. It wasn’t Sans’ fault that you had nightmares. You came clean about it, and he forgave you. It still crept up on you.

 

The taller brother was curled up next to you. So close, but so far away…

Dozing off, you came back to Papyrus sitting up and looking down at you with a concerned eye. The nightlight in the room added deep set shadows and you hid under the covers.

"ARE YOU OKAY, HUMAN? YOU WERE MUMBLING IN YOUR SLEEP." The top of your head was out of the blankets and he patted it. You reached for his hand and held it tight. "ARE YOU COLD?" 

You were too groggy for this. "No, I'm warm enough. I'll be just fine." You smiled at him for a moment, but it was shortlived.

"HMM... I SEE." You could tell he was thoroughly unconvinced. He laid back down and resumed his position. It was quiet for a few minutes. The ringing of silence was horrific. You emerged from your shell and poked his shoulder blade.

"Hey Paps, c-can we cuddle?" Your face immediately flushed. You were certain the heat could be felt from outer space.

He looked down at you, up at the ceiling, and adjusted himself so he was on his back, arm offered out to you. After a bit of awkwardly trying to find a position that went well, it was as comfortable as snuggling a skeleton could be. Your arms and legs were a tangled mess. Your head was on his chest, supported by a pillow. The situation had gone according to plan. 

You never realized how strongly the scent of marinara sauce clung to Papyrus. It was strange, but it wasn’t anything you could argue with. At least he didn’t still have some behind his “ears”. Now wasn’t the time to be hungry! You were so sleepy.

"Are you comfortable?" You couldn't keep your eyes open, but you were trying your best. 

"INDEED. YOU ARE QUITE SOFT." 

He brought a hand to your hair and experimentally ran a hand through it. When you made no protest, he continued to pet you. Despite the nightmares, everything was warm and cheery. You had almost forgotten why you were so worked up in the first place.

"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL KISS YOU NOW, HUMAN!!! IF... YOU WANT." You weren't looking at his face, but you could tell he felt the sudden awkwardness of the situation. He stared off towards the nightlight, then back down at you. 

 

"Uh, okay?" You yawned, not all there anymore. You were exhausted. 

 

After a moment of tenseness, he kissed (face pressed?) your forehead. It was grating, ungraceful, and very… Papyrus. It felt right. You continued to cling to him like a lifeline, falling into a happy sleep.

Good night.


	4. Picnic Basket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming... It's a beautiful day to be concerned about Asgore's well-being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request c: we need more Asgore love.

It was a beautiful day outside. Naturally, you planned on enjoying it. The king, however... Had other ideas. Every once and awhile he'd mope about the castle in his pajamas, a sonder expression on his face. It seemed worse today than ever.

 

"Are you going to get out of bed, Asgore?" Your voice was low, but you seemed to have startled him. He rolled over and sighed. "It's almost noon."

 

"I will, I suppose. It... was a long night." He sounded pained.

 

He sat up, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Dark circles peeked out from under white fur; the lines on his face were deeper than they usually did. He stared into your eyes for a moment, placing a heavy paw on your shoulder. He looked pensive, or like he had hurt someone without meaning to. You averted your gaze and stared at the floor.

 

"Do you want to go for a walk today? It’s been so long since you’ve left the castle." You smiled at him, and he returned the gesture. “The garden is taken care of, lunch has been made, and Alphys dropped off her latest report. For now, everything is in order. You’re free for the evening.”

 

"Is that so? I.. I suppose, I really should do something... Ah, wait outside my door. I will be right out." He bowed his head in dismissal and you did as you were told.

 

A few moments passed and he emerged. He decided to forgo his kingly attire and settle for the most ‘dad’ outfit you could imagine. Just being out of bed seemed to improve his mood, and for that you were grateful. You packed a lunch of spaghetti, salad and fresh bread into a basket and each took a handle as you walked.

 

“The birds are awfully noisy today. I wonder what the news is?” He paused and looked around the rows of golden flowers, taking a moment to listen. Suddenly, the rumbling of a stomach drowned them out. He blushed at you.

 

“You’re the one who lazed through breakfast.” You gave him a concerned glare, but you were smiling. The situation seemed more unreal as you considered it. “Maybe we should join the flowers here instead of in Waterfall.”

 

“I could not agree more.”

 

You were glad that Undyne finally learned you needed to boil water to make spaghetti. With such a practical improvement, it made everything a little easier to digest. The conversation was light and easy. You loved being around the King, after getting past the ‘You are a human, so I’m going to take your soul.” Thing. Accidents happened, right? You two talked about flowers, about the surface, about strange science facts. When the food was cleared, you dusted yourself off and got to folding the blanket. Your companion, despite the friendly fodder, still looked so serious. You frowned at yourself.

 

“Now, that walk. Anywhere you want to go in particular? Maybe we should visit Undyne. We’re long overdue for it.”

 

“Sounds good to me. What should we do with the basket, though?” You tilted your head at him. He looked down at the basket, then up at you.

 

“...I may regret this, but… It can stay here for the time being. It’s not bothering anyone. Home is so far away…” He leaned back dramatically, as if the few meters between the garden and the front door were miles in distance. You both chuckled, and went with it. “Do you think we will remember it?”

 

“We definitely won’t.” You shrugged.

 

He offered his arm out to you, and you took it anyway. Remember the basket. The two of you cut through Hotlands as fast as possible, and entered the calmness of Waterfall. You didn’t bother with the Riverperson. Electing to take the long way felt better, anyway. Few of the echo flowers were white noise, and the two of you said silly things into them to lighten the mood. Anyone who passed by would now hear the delightfulness of a pancake recipe, or a dramatic retelling of a limerick. You said hello to Gerson, to a gaggle of Temmies, stopped to wash your hands thanks to Woshua. All the while, you kept looking up at Asgore. Sometimes you’d meet his gaze and immediately turn away. Was he alright…?

 

You knew the answer, but you worried anyway.

 

The time you spent at Undyne’s was always an adventure. The poor house was built and rebuilt several times, but this version had more space than ever. You sat on the sofa and remembered the recent sleepover you had there. You told Asgore about how late you stayed up together, how you “inevitably” ended up sharing the couch. As it progressed, his smile got wider and wider until he spent his full time beaming. You highfived Undyne for a mission accomplished.

 

You had tea together, but it was getting late. You needed to get back to the castle. Goodbyes were said, hugs exchanged. You clung to Asgore’s paw like it was your only safety. He looked so sad again. You wondered what he’d do when he got home.

 

But, the echo flowers you spoke to made you both laugh out loud again. Looking over the glowing waters, you turned to one echo flower and whispered into it. He raised an eyebrow at you, but you waved for him to keep going.

“It’s a secret,” you said. He didn't pester you about it.

 

You stopped and grabbed the picnic basket before walking home. Dinner was made, Mettaton’s show watched. For being someone who didn’t like violence, late-night crime shows were the king’s favourite.

 

You were in your pajamas and saying goodnight, but Asgore stopped you in your tracks.

 

“My dear, what did you wish for today?” You couldn’t escape the question. His expression was gentle.

 

“I… I wished for you to be a little happier. Even if it means you have to…” You looked down at the ground. Surprisingly, he lifted you off the floor in a hug.

 

“You are Kindness for a reason,” he said softly, “but you are safe here. I, on the other hand, will try my best. For you, and for me. Sleep well.” He nuzzled your nose and set you back down.

 

“You too.”


	5. Vantablack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader/Gaster. This is a shitpost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was, without a doubt, the best request I've ever gotten.  
> (Also, sorry for nothing new yesterday!! Needed a short break.)

Where were you? How had you gotten there?

 

You were surrounded in inky blackness. You reached out a hand, and it dissolved somewhere in the abyss. You couldn't feel anything but your heart beating out of your chest as you felt yourself breaking. Piece by piece, you were torn away into the abyss and rebuilt into a human again. Seconds turned into years, minutes into decades. You were certain you'd never escape your prison until you saw it. White light. You ran towards it with what strength you had left to fight the invisible hands that tore at your essence. You opened a door and collapsed inside it. The hands dissipated like they weren't really there in the first place. Your body stopped hurting. You seemed to have fallen unconscious.

 

You woke up and looked around. A hallway…? The floor and walls were grey. The ceiling above you was reminiscent of the rest of the Waterfall. You were struck with a vague feeling of familiarity. You reached out and touched the walls. They were solid, and you exhaled sharply. Standing up, you walked forward.

 

You continued on trekking for what seemed like quite awhile. The hallway showed no signs of ending. It finally registered that you didn’t know if you were actually moving. Nonetheless, your legs burned with every step you took, or didn’t take. There had to be an ending. You kept telling yourself that as you went on.

 

You came to a small room that held nothing in it. The walls were blank as the rest of the impossibly large cavern, marking no progress. You started to doubt yourself even stronger than before. You cried into the darkness as if someone might save you. Your echo was the only answer you received.

 

Then a hand touched you gently on the shoulder. As soon as you noticed it, it lifted. It shook where it was suspended, but you grabbed it and held it tight to your chest. It was actually there. You could feel it against your skin, hear the creaking of joints. It had to be real. Another hand appeared with it. Both of them had holes in the palms. A signature of lilac magic held them aloft. 

 

You looked up to see a man standing there. Was it a man, or a continuation of the void? You couldn’t tell. He wore a cloak that looked like it was forged from stars. Light and dark swirled within it, enticing you. His face was white and cracked, a permanent smile resting upon it. He looked pensive. He put a hand on your chin and stared curiously into your eyes. A voice - no, voices - filled your mind.

 

“How did you get here, child? You are very lost.” He moved to your cheek, gently caressing the skin as if he wanted to calm you down. You went to say something, but no words came out. You went to turn down to the floor, but he brought your attention back to him.

 

“Do not be afraid. Speak with your mind, not your body.”

 

You mentally screamed, and the man recoiled. He squinted at you. “...Ah, you… seem to have the hang of it.” A throaty giggle rang from somewhere inside the man. “My name is W.D. Gaster. This is my home now. I do not get visitors often.”

 

“How do I get out?” It took you a long time to make a clear, coherent sentence, but the man was patient and let you try your best. He looked down to the floor.

 

“It takes a soul like yours. Going back the way you came, without turning to see what you are leaving behind.” The hands stopped shaking as they hung close to you. “But… I do not think I could let you go.” You turned towards the door. It looked like it was barely a meter and a half away. Why did it feel like it was so far before? Questions were racing through your head. His stare grew quizzical as you tried to focus. 

 

"Why?" 

 

"I am lonely. I miss my sons. I miss my workbench. I miss many, many things. People are included in those things." The voices grew softer and softer until they were another bit of mental static. 

 

"If I gave you my soul, could you leave this place?" 

 

"Do you understand the complications of a human-monster fusion? Besides, child. I deserve this. I did not want to live my life, and erased myself from existence by my own means. I could not atone for such an action." 

 

You looked down, and this time, he let you. "I came to the Underground for the same reason." You brought up the memory and he gasped. "If you could see them again, it'd be worth it, right? What would I use this soul for?" You shrugged and drew out your soul. It shone in the gloom like a beacon.

 

"You would give up the very culmination of your being... so easily?" He blinked at you. He was so confused, and perhaps a little frightened. 

 

"You have a reason to keep on going! For SCIENCE! And... things, I guess. It's your's." 

 

"Thank you, child." He took the soul into his hands and drew it somewhere into his cloak. You felt yourself compelled too hug him, and put all your remaining energy into a warm embrace. For a moment, everything went black again. Like you were being pulled apart over and over, each in a more twisted and cruel fashion. Then... it stopped. You raised a hand, and somewhere outside of your field of view another hand rose. 

 

With fusion, came sharing minds. Your individuality was still there, but all your thoughts went into one place. You had taken your first step outside the door, looking around at the stars of Waterfall when it happened. Somewhere, somehow, the thought crossed your mind for a fraction of a second. 

 

"...bone me, daddy." 

 

You felt your own feet on the ground once more as Gaster returned to his lesser form. His wide mouth turned into a frown. 

 

"I refuse to share a mind with you. I will be returning to the void now. Tell Sans I am proud of him." 

 

He shut the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shitposting is my passion.


	6. Soulless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans tries his best, and fails, to comfort a soulless reader. 
> 
> Short and sweet c:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more or less a continuation of another one off my fics that was 999% a cringefest. It's still up, but we're not going to talk about it. 
> 
> Anyway, Reader's nickname is Spoon - which might be elaborated upon at a later time?? I don't know.

He opened the door to find you standing there, staring blankly into a mirror. The room was dark. The only sound was laboured breathing, and a disconnected phone call. He never knew what to do in these situations despite their frequency, and you felt worse and worse every time you saw his face full with concern.

“they can’t get you here, you know that.” His voice cut through you like a knife, even though it was something you needed to hear. The mental slice felt too personal. He looked you up and down and flicked on a lamp. He swiped to hang up the phone and tossed the device somewhere into your blankets. “wanna talk about it?”

You couldn’t answer, and sat on the bed. Head low, he sighed. He knew it and so did you.

“it’s gonna get worse if you keep it bottled up, y'know. it’s not just your parents, is– those are tears. it’s not just the parents. should i call an exorcist? the demons, spoon! are they here?” He grabbed your shoulders and looked into your face. You had a singular blue eye. its colour never flickered.

“I hurt a lot of people. Intentionally. I meant EVERYTHING. And… yeah. Parents.” He wiped your face with his sleeve.

“it happens.” His shrug was incredibly casual. As if he didn’t introduce you to the worst kind of bonezone for twenty hours straight. 

“No, I mean. I stabbed someone! Why? I wanted a doughnut made out of spiders and I didn’t have the money. That’s it. That’s why I did it. I didn’t even get a doughnut. I was still 3 gold short. I sobbed. For a long time. And then I got possessed and everything was really awful.” You pouted.

“heh, i’ve killed mean children for less.” You shuddered. He looked away for a second before carrying on. “so the red sea was a little choppier than normal. it’s part of growin’ up, sweets.” He put on the most condescending, ridiculous voice. He even wore the Grade School Teacher Expression™ that you were a little too familiar with. Now wasn’t the time to reminisce, though! Stay focused on the task at hand. 

After a brief moment of weighing the pros and cons of assaulting him with a lamp, you fell backwards onto cotton sheets and groaned bitterly. Out of options, you laced your fingers with his.

“Reset and alive or not, I killed them. And then myself. Do you KNOW how unsettling that is? To wake up after your own–”

A hand clapped over your mouth and you attempted to bite it, but nothing worked. After all, there was nothing to really grab.

“i… have an idea, actually.” His pupils dimmed for a moment. He sounded dismal.

“…Oh…?” You felt… Bad? Were you bringing up bad memories? Was this really not your episode? Then his expression changed.

“we could be totally eating chisps and annoying paps right now.” He jumped up and brought you with him. His grin was infectious. You… You weren’t sure what you were expecting. Deflection was his greatest talent, after all.

At least you weren’t alone in the end. So, a reset was possible. Even if you remembered every gruesome detail… He didn’t.

You knew what was coming. A laugh ran out, but it wasn’t your’s.


	7. Redstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a request! 
> 
> In which Sans and Reader go on an adventure.

"So, this is it, huh? The end of the world."

He nodded to you sadly. The only surroundings were a grassy plain, dotted with yellow flowers. The sun sat high above, threatening in its course towards the western sky. Wild animals sniffed at the two of you. Civilization stopped existing and few people were left. They scattered and rebuilt from the ground up. It was your turn to follow in their footsteps.

 

You constructed a makeshift axe and tossed it to Sans. You could barely see it, but past the plains was a forest of tall oaks and birches. You were going to need supplies, and what little you had to start off with wouldn't last long. You had to do something.

 

Holding hands and carrying weapons, you wandered across the field. Sometimes, you stopped and picked flowers, or gathered seeds from wild wheat. The light in the sky dimmed slowly but surely, and you hurried.

 

"how much wood is too much?"

 

You glared at Sans for a moment, but your expression softened when you realized how quickly the area had been demolished. You were more impressed than anything. "I think we'll be good now. Combined we have... almost two thousand planks' worth! How do you do that so fast?"

 

"experience." He stood there casually, leaning on his axe for support. You rolled your eyes at him and got to fixing the wood to a more usable form than raw chopped pieces. It was slow-going, but it had to be done. At some point, your skeletal companion went in search of coal. You had one torch between the two of you, and you were glad to be the keeper of it. Trying your hardest, you put together a small shack to protect from the elements. No, it couldn't be called a 'house' yet, but it sure was tiring. You fell asleep in the grass of the floor.

 

Bursting awake, you reached for your sword and waved it around in a threatening manner. The shack was so full of light, it took you a second to realize it was still nighttime. A torch was on every available space...? At least you'd see anything if it approached. A lone spider circled around the house. Three meters in diameter, you wished you could've left your fears behind you like you did everything else. With a sweep attack you learned from another time, you completely missed the spider. Looking down at your sword and blinking, you ran towards it with a fierce battlecry. Sweeping again, you took some health off of it. Then more, and more, until you tackled the spider and stabbed it through. It was unnecessary, but it sure felt good.

 

You collected some string from the spinnerets of the spider and witnessed as it collapsed into dust. Morning was coming at an alarming rate. With the newfound light and energy, you began tearing down all sixty-some torches. It took you a moment to realize Sans was nowhere to be found. Fear bubbled inside you for a moment, but it was short lived. You had to carry on one way or another, right? The planks of the shack came down with ease, and weren't too hard to carry.

 

Then you found him. Line after line of light lead you right into a massive cave. "Do you know how long it's going to take to pick these up?" You called. It echoed off the walls and everdeep into the earth. With a small snap, he teleported behind you.

 

"probably not long? i found a dungeon. got a lot of cool stuff." He was encumbered with what seemed like an impossible amount of raw materials. You blinked, and blamed it on a coding error.

 

But alas. The world around you crumbled into the abyss as the earth faded to black. Suddenly, the voice of Papyrus rang from somewhere you couldn’t identify.

 

“IT IS FIVE AM AND YOU ARE STILL AWAKE? GO TO BED, CHILDREN. I’M DISABLING THE WIFI PAST MIDNIGHT.”


	8. Blue-Eyed Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My life is spiraling out of control.   
> I based this off the "Sans is a Revenant" theory and I just really needed some wizard Reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly a taste to see if people like the concept! c:   
> One day, I'll actually write full-length things with plot. Today... is not that day.

You were struck by panic as you realized you let the demon out of your sight. You were tired from the ritual, naturally, but you didn't think you were that tired. Wrong again... This wasn't your day.

You crept downstairs, holding a fireball out for light. It's hue was lime green, echoing your magical signature. The light in the kitchen was on? Had you left it...? 

Two empty bottles lay on the countertop, a third in his hand. You hung your head. "I resurrect you and the first thing you do is this? No "give me your soul," or "what do you want from me," or anything?"

He turned to look at you, Cheshire grin even happier than normal. A thin stripe of red went down his face. You thought for a moment... And reached out a finger. The substance was ketchup, and your anxieties were sated. You exhaled sharply.

"you try being dead for two hundred years. it sucks."

"We need to like, work out our deal, though."

"i don't make promises, kid." He took another sip of the tangy liquid and offered it out to you. You took a step back, hands behind your back. He continued talking. "i did, but then i realized that they were too easy to break. y'know, like humans." 

"I own you, though. I created you for the purpose of, y'know, making a deal?" You blinked at him. 

"first off, i'm kinkshaming. second off, can't we do that stuff later?" He yawned, leaning back on the counter. 

"What kind of demon are you?! Ugh!" You tossed your arms up in frustration and bolts of lightning trailed from your fingertips into the ceiling above. Nearby, a light flickered. The skeleton... Winked at you?

"i don't know, you created me."

This is what you were going to hell for. You summoned a demon to get revenge and he didn't even want to do it? You guessed, some part of you did deserve this. Another part not so much.


	9. Knockin' On Heaven's Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans/reader (I need to be stopped)  
> Sans meets a different voice from the other side of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly waffling, but I tried my best. ;~; I've had this around my head for a long time and needed an outlet.

You loved Toriel very much, of course. She was your mom! When you tumbled into the mountain with no hope to keep going, she took you in and immediately thought of you as her own child. You were technically an adult, but having parental guidance was the best thing to ever happen to you. You didn't want to leave her. 

 

You grew restless sitting around in your bedroom day after day, reading old books and having the time to write and entirely new one. You wanted something different. Something out of your routine to pop into your life and fizzle back out so you'd have something to talk about and maybe put in your journal. 

 

When mom was out getting groceries, you snuck into the basement. You stared longingly at the runed door, before peeking inside it. Was this okay...? You'd never seen beyond that door and previously never planned to. Summoning a lightsource with magic, you started stalking through the infinite corridor. 

 

Then, there was... A knock? It echoed through the hallway at a deafening volume. You didn't know that there was anything past the Ruins -- she never bothered to tell you. Why? You thought on this when another knock rang out. It had to be from somewhere. 

 

You reached another door. Bound with a huge chain and padlock, you'd never get out of it. You tried slicing through it with a strong wave of wind. Nothing. Melting it didn't seem to work either. 

 

This time, the knocking followed a "knock knock." It was a man's voice. Deep and gravelly, it was one you'd never heard before.

 

"...Who's there...?" You shook where you stood. 

 

"dishes." 

 

You raised an eyebrow. "Dishes who?" 

 

"dishes a very bad joke!" 

 

You paused, and contemplated the situation for a moment before bursting into a strong fit of laughter. You were almost in tears, as if it was the best joke you've ever heard in your life. It was pretty close, honestly. Low standards? Who knew. 

 

"Knock knock," you said. You had to at least try. 

 

"who's there?" 

 

"Uh... Joke." You tried to recall one that Toriel told you. It was too late now, and you were on your own. 

 

"jokes who?" He sounded sincerely interested. 

 

"Jokes... On you! I'm not good at these." You chuckled awkwardly. From the other side of the door, he laughed, too. 

 

More and more knock knock jokes were shared until your stomach hurt from humour. He had enough for both of you. Eventually, though, he stopped, and a content silence sat between the two of you. 

 

"hey, it's gettin' kinda late. my brother gets kinda cranky without a bedtime story, so i'm gonna get goin'." You could hear him yawning. 

 

"Ah, alright. Same thing tomorrow?" 

 

"you got it." 

 

You knew you wouldn't be able to tell Toriel about your new friend. She wasn't home when you went upstairs, and for that you were thankful. You laid down on your bed and screamed into your pillow. This is exactly what you needed. 

 

And as promised, you went the next day when she got perhaps, too immersed in a new book. She didn't question why you were sneaking food, nor why you went downstairs. She didn't even notice you. It was a very her thing to do, when you reflected on it. 

 

The loud knocking felt familiar already as you made it to the door in record timing. "Yo!" 

 

"yo. how're you today?" 

 

You sighed and sat down, back against the door. "Same as usual. Bored, I'm afraid." 

 

"same, tibia honest. it's just one of those days." 

 

Did he really just...? "Was that a pun?" 

 

"i'd never fibia." You could feel the wink.

 

You groaned and tapped at the door. You hoped you came off as angry. The time flew by faster than it did yesterday. The amount of bone puns were too high for you to count, and every one was terrible. Your boredom was, however, sated. 

 

When silence fell again, he cleared his throat. "so uh, what do you do all day? besides.. this." 

 

"Well, I read, I write, I paint, I cook. It's all pretty hazy... I don't remember what I did most of yesterday. It's always the same. What about you? It must be exciting on the other side of this door if my mother hasn't told me about it." 

 

"nah. it's just a forest out here. i'm a sentry. i'm supposed to be on watch for humans but, i don't think we're ever gonna see one. this is a lot better." 

 

"Do you procrastinate often?" 

 

There was a chuckle from the other side. "i'll tell ya about it tomorrow." 

 

"Are you going?" There was concern in your voice, despite not meaning to put it there. 

 

"'fraid so. same thing tomorrow?" 

 

"Definitely." 

 

There was a softer knock, and you put your hand where it was loudest. "can't wait," he said softly. The sound of footsteps followed as he trudged off. You hurried upstairs and dove into your room. You had to write some things down. You didn't know much about this guy. What kind of monster was he? Why was everything he said some sort of pun? Why did you like him as much as you did? 

 

Toriel knocked at the door to your bedroom and you almost fell out of your chair. She said something about needing the second book immediately, and that she'd be going to get it now. You waved her goodbye, and went back to journaling. 

 

Day thirty-three was a repeat of the others - lots of bad jokes, with periods of deep conversation tossed in. You dumped your entire life story on him, before regretting it immensely. What if he ran away? Or used that against you somehow? You started to sob from both guilt and the memories that flooded back to you. He didn't make any sounds for awhile. 

 

"hey, kid?" 

 

"...Yeah?" 

 

"knock knock." 

 

"Who's there?" 

 

"you." 

 

"You... who?" 

 

"you're... uh, pretty neat. and... i wanna stay like this. i mean, talking and hanging out and... y'know." His words were heavy, and he sounded extremely flustered. There was a long, awkward silence as the shock set in.

 

"I... I have to go." You hurried upstairs, not giving him any time to protest. Your face burned with blush as you thought about the situation. You didn't know what you were feeling on a regular basis, let alone something other than melancholy and boredom. He pierced you like an arrow and you simply allowed it? A year of life in the Ruins and you started doubting why you stayed there. You HAD to stay there with her, after all. She loved and cared for you more than someone through a door could. 

 

 

You didn't go back to the door for a long time, but he sure did. He'd come knocking daily and get met with silence. He wondered why he told you despite his fears. Seeing them come true, and in the manner that they did... He raised his hand to the door and readied himself, before sighing heavily. There was no point, after all. He took a step back. 

 

"i miss ya, kid. but my aim's getting better." he turned to leave. Did he forget you already?

 

You never got to say something in return.


	10. Golden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS 2565 WORDS OF STRAIGHT UP FEELINGS. Sans/Reader.  
> \- Reader has a name, which is Spoon. He's my OC. However, his gender isn't mentioned necessarily, if that's something you're worried about c:  
> \- GENOCIDE RUN SPOILERS.  
> \- As comes with genocide.. Major character death!  
> \- Have fun. I didn't.

The only light in the house was your computer screen. It was often at the wee hours of the night you'd find yourself like this. Doing research on this and that, browsing the internet in hopes of amusement. You could call yourself completely nocturnal by now. It fit your behavior. But more importantly, on nights like these, you had a special visitor.

 

Sans wore purple pajamas with pants that were a little too long, his usual pink slippers, and the groggiest expression you've ever seen. His bones crackled as he stretched, wandering out from the bedroom. "don't you have anything better to do? like get some rest?" his voice was sleepy as the rest of him.

 

"...My research is of utmost importance! Besides, what time is it, anyway...?" You looked at the clock on your desktop. It was only two. "Oh gosh, it's so... early. I thought it was later."

 

"wikipedia isn't a source. i'd grade you a c+ at best. you need to go to bed, you're on watch tomorrow."

 

"So are you." Your voice was a whine. You spun around in your chair to look at him, but grossly overestimated the power needed. You ended up dizzy and right back where you started. More time to look at memes.

 

"please?" His tone was soft, barely audible above the whirring of the furnace. Giving in, you shutdown your computer and groaned. This was your life.

 

It was the cuddling that ensued that made every moment of your nocturnalness worth it. The time you felt absolutely perfect was there and then. Soul to soul. Nothing could break your spirits like this. He'd never admit that he was a clingy sleeper, and you held the knowledge close to your heart.

 

He always held you in more of a death grip than a real 'snuggle.' Face buried in your hair, full body pressed against yours. He was oddly warm for being a skeleton? You never really questioned it before. He loved you, you loved him. You protected each other. You recognized your own differences and worked through them. You felt blessed to have him, and were confident enough to think the feeling was mutual…

 

_Ah, the memories._

How long were you zoned out? It was surreal. You had been at your sentry station all morning, listening to music. You couldn't get through a single song without skipping past it, or pausing it at the slightest noise. Your breath hung in the air above you longer than it should. The air was thick with humidity. You felt cold.

 

But, in full honesty, this was a common occurrence. Everything would be happy, sickeningly sweet, then someone had to press a button and delete everyone's progress. Toriel would wake up in the Ruins, confused and alone. She'd stand at the door, knocking all day, wondering what happened. It was a dream, you told her. After the 45th reset, she stopped believing you. You didn't talk to her anymore.

 

Whoever controlled the timeline now was a benevolent lord. They went the same route every time. Full pacifist with no exceptions. You'd befriend them easily, smiling and nodding through your hangout session, and sitting in your place on their menu screen. The predictability was starting to get to you, and you wanted them to get bored already. There were only so many dialogue options, so many flavour texts. Seeing Mettaton do the same show over and over got a little boring, but Papyrus was amazed at your ability to quote things on new episodes.

 

You'd never admit your mild wanting for a true reset. There were things you wanted to fix. Things you could've achieved better. You didn't have the determination to build from the ground up, though. Your soul was weak.

 

Besides, you weren't the player. You were someone's Mary-Sue OC.

 

And your name is Spoon.

 

A figure stalked up behind you, muttering a 'boo.' You almost fell off of your chair. You were too focused on everything and nothing to pass it off.

 

"so, it's 109 today, huh?" Sans hugged you from behind, slipping his hands into your pockets. You slumped against him.

 

"Yup. The Ruins are quiet, so it's not a speedrun like yesterday. Parent aggro? Taking their sweet time? Complimenting Froggit for an hour? Just what are we going to do with them?" You pouted.

 

"nothing out of the ordinary, i hope. i can't shake the feeling that something's wrong." His eyes still had their familiar glow, little specs of light somewhere in deep sockets. They felt different. Dimmer. They darted back and forth and couldn't stay still.

 

You looked up at him to the best of your ability. "I dare you to say something different in your dialogue." He released you from his death grip and stared at you blankly.

 

"is it possible for me to do that? i mean, can i just... do that? i could just... start rattling out puns until they give up?" The two of you chuckled.

 

"Eh? I think we'd be bone-dry of your humour by now."

 

"It's tibia expected."

 

There was a silence. You looked dramatically towards each other before locking eyes. The laughter that ensued was light hearted and merry. He sat next to you and put his head down on the counter of your sentry station. Some time passed. Nothing happened.

 

"we should check on the ruins. come with, this is gonna be great." You nodded and stalked after him. His hood was up, whoopee cushion ready to be deployed. Ears against the Ruins' door, you could hear the muffled voice of Flowey. No words reached you, but Sans looked alarmed. The lights in his eye sockets dimmed to almost nothing. Nodding to you, you vanished into the trees.

 

"...it's golden," he whispered.

 

_Oh no. Golden._

 

The door to the ruins opened, and nothing emerged but a shadow. What you could see of the sprite was dust. Grey dust clung to their clothes and hands. You couldn't read their face, but their aura was heavy. They walked casually through the forest, more aloof than anything. You couldn't see their weapon. What did they do...? You were at a complete loss.

 

Despite having enough anxiety for both of you, Sans got into position. The whoopee cushion was deployed, but no awkward laughter filled the air. Hushed tensity replaced humour, and the wind howled from nowhere in particular. They stared Sans in the eyes. Unblinking. Unswayable in their sins.

 

"so... if you could act like a human, it'd make my brother real happy." He shrugged at them.

 

There was no response. However, the game went on as normal. Papyrus was spoken to, the conveniently-shaped lamp was ignored, more dust filled their pockets. After a little while, Sans came running back to your hiding place. You didn't think he was capable of running.

 

"So, it's bad, huh?"

 

"understatement of the year, kid. i'm scared. we, i told everyone in town to hide. you should go, too. i'm really scared, spoon. this's never happened before." He rattled and shook where he stood, clinging to your arm.

 

"Everything's going to be okay. I'm a human, so if anything happens..." You thought for a moment. "I'll... I'll. I don't know. But it'll be dramatic."

 

"that's not reassuring." His hold tightened, phalanges crackling from the stress.

 

"It's not, but it's true. We have scripts for this that we have to go by. You're needed by Papyrus right now, Sans. I'll make sure the player stops the run." You weren't sure you could actually do it, but you put on your bravest face. You prayed you weren't trembling.

 

 **"g o h i d e,"** Sans' voice filled your head, rushing like a river through your being.

 

"I'll go, I promise. YOU go spend time with Papyrus now." His lightless eyes stared into your soul, and you could feel his judgement weighing down your neck. He took a step back, looked at you sadly, and vanished.

 

You crept after the player, watching as more dust collected on their hands. You could finally see their sprite in full. Were they wearing temmie armour...? And the Real Knife...? Come on man, they were in the Ruins. 

 

Damn hackers! They probably had an entire Butterscotch pie, too. You could feel your determination dwindling for half a second. You sighed and resigned yourself to surviving. It was the least you could do for Sans. Your attack was fairly average for monsters in Snowdin, and whether or not it was on purpose, the player WAS getting hit by things. Despite being a human, everyone was used to you at this point. You were around so much that nobody questioned it. Perhaps it was your pacifist routes? You weren't sure. You didn't want to fight anyone, anyway. The idea made you tear up. The weakness of your Soul was the culmination of your whole being. You didn't mind one bit.

 

The wind blew through your winter jacket as you dared walk across the road to your sentry station. You heard the rustle of something in the woods, and dived under the safety of the counter. Something peered inside, casting a long shadow. You held your breath. Your soul beat out of your chest and your hands, coat and faith wasn't enough to stop its light from pouring out from your fingertips. This was it, wasn't it? The footsteps went away.

 

It took a long time for your heart to calm its extreme rhythm, and in doing so caused the rest of your anxiety to thicken. There was only so much time before they’d come back. They were looking for encounters that only the determined to kill would find. You felt sick. You stood up just to lose your balance and crashed dizzily into the reality of your situation. You exhaled and accepted your fate. You weren’t going anywhere for a little while.

 

You woke up groggy and cold, still on the floor. You recollected your thoughts and hazily ran into Snowdin. There was no one to be found. The store was robbed, shelves empty, the inn free from snoring patrons. It felt like you were looking at the town through a snow globe smudged by a child’s dirty fingerprints. You started towards your house, but something stopped you in your tracks. Fiddling with keys, you bursted into the Skeletons’ home with sweat beading on your brow and a look of horror. You were greeted by silence.

 

“...Sans? P-Papyrus?” You called into the stillness. There was the sound of feet rushing down stairs. Before you knew it, you were being held several feet in the air by Papyrus, squishing you in an embrace.

 

 **“HUMAN!! WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!”** His voice was, naturally a strained yell that you were certain the whole underground could hear. Perhaps it was because it was in your ear…? It took a moment for the ringing to stop. He held you a little ways away from him, looking up and down for injuries. Orange tears welled in his eyes. 

 

“I’m okay, I promise. Just a little shaken up. Where’s Sans?” You looked at the floor next to Papyrus, shrieking and jumping out of the taller skeleton’s arms when his brother appeared behind you. Papyrus was barely able to catch you.

 

“ya called? how is it out there?” He tilted his head to one side and stared at you with an unreadable expression.

 

“Still golden. Birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. Y’know, the usual.” Your voice was thick with sarcasm. Papyrus set you on the ground. With the newfound freedom of your arms, you held the hands of the skeleton brothers. All of you were looking around the house. It was silent.

 

You let go of them after a moment, but Sans’ hand never left yours. He tugged on you, leading you away from Papyrus. “they’re going to be here soon. on the ‘bridge of death’ or whatever, they ran back. most likely finishing the job.” He kept his tone gentle and voice low. From the kitchen, the tall skeleton spoke loudly on the telephone.

 

“There’s still hope,” you sniffled. “We just have to stay determined… and… yeah.” Sans nuzzled your face with his own, as it was the closest thing to a kiss you could share. You fell to your knees, completely defeated. Your nerves were wracked with anxiety and grief. He sat with you, hands creeping their way into your hair and up the fabric of your sweater to the skin of your back. His spindly phalanges were like icicles, but the feeling was welcome. You leaned on him, pitiful sobs the only sound in the house now.

 

“i’m glad we’re both at a loss.”

 

“Gosh, you have that right.”

 

The two of you stayed like that for a long time. You thought to yourself, this is usually how it goes, isn’t it? Weak soul, weaker feelings. You were useless in a warzone. His comforting grasp was broken when Papyrus came out of the kitchen, phone in hand. He looked around suspiciously.

 

“got a date, pap?”

 

 **"Y-YES?"** Beads of sweat dripped from his skull.

 

"are they cute? 'cause it's worth the rescheduling." He sighed at you before helping you to your feet. He continued to support your weight, and wiped the corner of your eyes on his hoodie. "it's kinda the end of the world out there."

 

 **"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE A DATE WITH DESTINY!!! I WILL BE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD!!!"** He ran directly into the door, then looked down at the door knob. It took him half a second to register that he had to turn it to leave. He "NYEH HEH HEH'ed his way towards Waterfall. Neither you nor Sans moved. You stood up finally, blinking.

 

“That… happened? For real?”

 

“yeah, it did, didn't it?"

 

“I feel like we should be reacting a lot more than we are.”

 

As per most quiet moments, panic ensued afterward. You ran towards the door at lightning speed, leaving Sans behind. You followed the trail of Papyrus' voice, darting between trees. 

 

**"ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE? WOWIE!!"** You couldn't see more than vague shapes through the blizzard, but you knew what was coming. An arm was raised towards the skeleton's outstretched ones. Adrenaline coursed through you like fire as you ran towards the two. You leaped in perfect timing to get a knife in your chest. 

 

 _This truly complicates things,_ you thought. 

 

They twisted the blade where it stabbed through you, and your vision was starting to fade. There was blood in the snow. You heard screaming. Something that wasn't snow got in your eyes, but you couldn't move anymore. What was it? Was it dust? Was your protection not enough? _Oh no... I'm sorry, Papyrus._

 

The bright light of a save point crossed your vision and you reached for it, but a malicious grin ripped it from your field of view. Oh, alright. It seemed saving yourself really was impossible. You thought about Sans, and how you swore you heard his voice just now. He said your name over and over. He sounded desperate. 

 

You faded out minutes ago, but Sans kept shaking you and calling out for you as if it might bring you back. The player had long since moved on to Waterfall. After all, what did they want to linger around for? He stood up and wiped his eyes. He grabbed the silver spoon you wore around your neck and the ashen scarf of his brother. He clutched both of them, and let the weight of grief fall on his shoulders. He let out something between a battlecry and a scream of anguish. 

 

**It's Golden.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret everything. >->


	11. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written entirely on mobile at 6 am so apologies in advance. \\\
> 
> Grillby X Reader because we need more fire uncle in our lives!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates everyone! Writer's block paired with working on something else??? It got to be a mess. Please don't expect every day updates but I will try my best. 
> 
> \-- I have 20+ requests right now and I'll get to them!!! I promise!!! But I am one man, one heap of garbage. It'll be slow with my other series going. 
> 
> \-- I love y'all for sticking around! <3 This was my first big debut of writing online and I love it.

You had quickly worked your way up to "the most regular regular" at the familiar Snowdin bar. Hell, you practically lived there. Everyone knew you as Grillby's personal assistant despite the fact you didn't work there. You talked to the locals, occasionally drawing them or writing little stories about their lives from speculation. You'd sit at the counter with a journal and you'd drink Shirley Temples and nibble at French fries like they were out of style. Your main interest, though, was the fiery man who ran the bar itself. 

He wasn't much for conversation to anyone else, but he spoke to _you_. Words of advice, bits of gossip. When it was quiet, you'd be strapped in for the usual deep talk. He asked about the surface and what it was like up there. When you told him you didn't want to go back up there, he never pressed it again. No, you had a strange, mutual attachment. 

This was highlighted by tonight, though. You sat on the bar and went through your entries, reading him this and that and showing him your doodles. Nobody had ever been interested in your writing before, and his sincere admiration for it melted you. He switched the sign to closed on the door, and slumped against it. 

"Another busy day, gone." He sighed. He was softspoken, though smokey in tone. "I must ask, do you have a place to go?" Grillby adjusted his glasses. 

"I do, I just like being here more, I guess. It has a much nicer atmosphere." You shrugged. 

"I suppose I'm worried for no reason. I'm... glad to hear it, though. You're something I look forward to." He sat next to you, leaning back and looking at the ceiling. The lights were low, you were alone. The situation felt much more intimate than before. You felt your face burn with blush as he looked you up and down. "Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, you're just.. Quite a match, you know that?" Your expression softened to a devious grin. The arm he was going to wrap around you went back to his face as he burned a bright pink flame. 

"That was unacceptable," he said through gritted teeth. He could do nothing to hide his flusteredness. He did, however, scoot just a little bit closer to you. "I'm too hot to suffer puns like that." 

"I'm just warming up." You both laughed for awhile. "Maybe we should lighten things up?" It fell silent. 

It took him several minutes to return to his hearty shade of red orange before he spoke again. He offered out both his arms. "Let's skip the burning and go right to the hugging." 

You nodded and were swept up by his embrace. He was solid, like a human, and felt like a heating pad. The warmth was welcome, though, as suddenly you were in his lap. This was how it usually ended up. He looked down at you expectantly, and you ran your fingers through the flames atop his head. He nuzzled your forehead with his own. Realizing your chance, you kissed his nose. 

"Augh-- My weakness!" he flared a pink, practically neon in shade, staring at you with the empty eyes of betrayal. Not knowing what to do, he squeezed you tighter. "You're very lavable. I hope you know that." You couldn't see his face the way he had you pressed, but you knew he was still blushing. _What a dork._

"You, um, too, Grillbz." 

It was quiet again as you clung to him for a time. Even Snowdin grew darker at some points in the night, and everything was the colour of blue dawn outside the bar windows. You almost fell asleep on him.

His expression was calm, but concerned as he nuzzled into your hair once more. "Perhaps... You should stay with me tonight?"


	12. Catnip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I've had the idea of a Sans/Grillby/Reader (my OC lmao) poly relationship for like... 30 years and suddenly it's the only thing I can write. 
> 
> Expect a lot of it. (and if you have any ideas for future domestic garbage please. oh my god.)
> 
> Anyway, Sans brings home a cat.

"hey babe, are you allergic to cats?" 

 

You raised your head, blinking at your skeletal companion. You didn't see him come in, and he had something in his jacket. "No, I'm no-- did you bring home another dubiously obtained creature?" 

 

He held the bundle harder. "this is a very, very legal cat. i found her at the shelter down the street. she needs me, sweetstuff." 

 

You sighed, hanging your head. No, this wasn't the first time he's brought home some sort of animal. It started out with a lone goldfish, and worked its way up to... this. "Why were you there in the first place?" He looked at you with dismal, pleading eyes. "Alright, let's see her then." 

 

From under his hoodie came a tiny orange and white kitten who looked like she might've been three months old. She wore a bright orange collar. She rolled onto her back and started to paw at your hair. You felt your heart melting. 

 

"Oh my god." You picked up the cat and she grabbed some the stray strands of hair. "This was a perfect decision. No downsides whatsoever. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen." 

"first of all, i'm offended. second, i got some cat stuff, too, since.. y'know." He scratched at the nape of his neck, blue blush on his face. "it's like... a child. expect store-bought and there's no scene phase." He tickled at the cat's paws. When he was swatted at, he took a step back. 

 

"...Did you get the fish food, though? That... is what I sent you out for." You giggled. "What are we going to name her?" 

 

"rey. and, yeah, i remembered."

 

"We are not naming our child after a Star Wars character, nerd." 

 

"you named a betta fish named sasuke uchiha. unironically. you actually sat down and decided to name a living thing sasuke uchiha." 

 

"He's a very edgy fish!"

 

"there's no excuse for memes in my house."

"Yeah?! Well... You... You're... fight me!" You pouted and dramatically turned your head to the side. "It's OUR house and I'll live my life the way I want to."

 

Sans winked at you. "I'd love to fight, but I think we have different ideas." Your face burned with fluster as you struggled to make a retort. For a moment, you forgot what was going on. 

 

The unnamed feline ran away from you and was exploring the house. It took you a long time to notice. You cleared your throat. "Anyways... Why don't we just... ask Grillbz? He's good at these things." 

 

"...oh yeah, we're gonna have to tell him." He started tapping his fingers together and looking at you nervously. "can we just say this was a team effort? for my ensured safety?" 

 

You sighed again, tossing a fabric mouse at him. "Just this once. But no more bringing home critters." 

 

"alright but we're going to call the cat rey." 

 

"Sans..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What should we name the cat?


	13. Everything Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The OT3 sit down to enjoy a timeless classic.

You collapsed on the sofa. Your head hurt and you felt a weird body ache. You had the vague desire to cry. You craved macaroni and cheese for an inexplicable reason. It was like you were falling apart from the inside out. It was midnight but it felt much later. Ah, finals. 

 

Grillby scooped you up and held you in his arms, petting your hair. "Are you alright, sugar? How were your exams today?" His voice was low and smokey. You let yourself be dead weight as he continued to coo over you. 

 

"College is terrible and I long for the sweet embrace of death." 

 

"Ah, so that's how it is. Only one more year, though. Then you'll graduate, and you'll never have to go back." The fiery man kissed your forehead. You nuzzled into his chest awkwardly, causing him to hold you tighter. You were being cradled like a toddler when he sat on the couch with you. 

 

The house was silent for a few minutes. Out of nowhere, an alarm sounded. The two of you jumped, and he was barely able to catch you. Sans ran downstairs at the speed of sound. 

 

"guys, guys, guys, oh my god guess what!" The skeleton quivered where he stood. He was gone in a flash, and reappeared before you holding a bowl of cereal. The white lights of his eyes formed little stars. 

 

You looked up at Grillby, who sighed. He replied for you. "What, dear?" 

 

"there's bill nye reruns tonight! i've been excited all day. this doesn't happen too often. and... and... and! science rules." He could hardly contain himself. His words were slurred together, bubbling over in his excitement. It only tired you out further. But, it was great to see him so happy about something. He'd been pretty depersonalized lately. 

 

You adjusted yourself so you could share Grillby's lap and just... accepted it. "Why does it have to be at midnight-thirty though? I don't think I can stay awake that long." Your voice was a groan. 

 

The bartender raised an eyebrow. "Midnight... thirty...?" Both of them were laughing at you. You growled, bitter expression on your face.

 

"You know, when it's like.. half an hour through midnight. It's that time right now isn't it?" You got out your cellphone and pointed dramatically to the time. Sure enough, it was 12:21 am.

 

"...do you need coffee or are you passed the caffeine-will-help place?" Sans rested a hand on your knee.

 

"I am a level of exhausted only known to art students." 

 

"i understand entirely."

 

Sans teleported away again, returning with several cups of tea and a big blanket. He curled in the space next to you. You became a cuddle pile of fire, skeleton and human, sipping tea and watching your favourite show.

 

You didn't remember that you had another test tomorrow. But, eh, you didn't care. At least not then.


	14. Catch Up Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meow.   
> Important notes, Reader is a trans man.

You stirred spaghetti sauce and hummed a familiar tune. You slumped against the wall, adjusting your apron. Life on the surface was no different than life down there. Still, you were exhausted all the time for a reason you weren't sure of. Your anxiety was always ready to bubble over.... The bright side, though, you had two fantastic boyfriends to watch over you. 

 

The sound of a key in the door caused you to straighten yourself out. Sans looked you up and down before sliding off his shoes. He sighed, pulling you in for a hug. 

 

"That bad, huh? How was therapy?" You pet the top of his head in gentle strokes. He didn't let you go for a long time. 

 

"nah, i'm makin' some real progress. just need a nap, s'all. how 'bout you? long day?"

 

"Nothing out of the ordinary. The semester's almost over, so that's a relief. Oh, I have to--" you darted over to the stove when the timer beeped, draining your pasta and giving the sauce a final stir. Everything was ready. The skeleton looked over the calendar.

 

"oh, i finally talked to papyrus today. about, uh, the three us. i'm really not sure what i was so afraid of," he chuckled awkwardly. "i don't think he has the capacity for negative..ness. i feel like it'll only get better from here, tibia honest."

 

"Sounds like a real weight off your chest! I'm really proud of you Sans. I'm sure he is, too. We're not... average, and... I feel blessed for all of us." You went to dishing up pasta and set aside a third bowl. You stared down at it, raising an eyebrow. "Did he say he was going to be home soon?" 

 

"nah. it's friday. late night." 

 

"Oh! Right." You set the extra aside.

 

The skeleton started to giggle with a sinister expression on his face. He pointed a long phalange at a date. "speaking of a weight off your chest, that's soon pretty soon, huh?"

 

You started to laugh as well. "I'm surprised you didn't make that pun sooner." You cupped a breast. "I can't wait to get rid of these... Maybe when I heal up, I'll do something scandalous, like... overcome my inherent fear of strangers. Or... maybe I'll... Gasp! I know what I must do!" 

 

Sans dramatically clapped a hand over his rib cage. "oh man, call the police. this boy knows he's doin'." 

 

"I won't wear shirts at the beach anymore!" 

 

"woah there, you better slow down." 

 

"I'll never be stopped!" You brandished a ladle like a sword and struck a pose. 

 

Supper was over in a flash. He helped you clean up in time for a very tired Grillby to arrive home. The flames under his thick glasses were bags of smoke. His usual candletip hair was a soft glow rather than its usual inferno. You turned to Sans, who nodded at you. 

 

"Attack!" The two of you rushed over to your third piece, hugging him from either side. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders. He yawned and let the two of you support his weight. 

 

"Good evening," he said softly. "I'm sleepy." 

 

"Hi sleepy, we're dads." 

 

He blinked at you. "What?" 

 

"surprise, we got a cat."


	15. Kiss Kiss Fall in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something I really needed tonight! And finally... Mettaton!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mental illness flares are never cool. Thankfully, writing about having a pal did just the trick. c:
> 
> Reader is trans, but not necessarily gendered.

It was around 2 AM when Mettaton called you. It had become a sort of ritual that you looked forward to, going as far as messing up your sleep schedule to say hello to him. You were awake, per usual, but it hadn't been the best of nights. Sometimes, things just go wrong for no reason. Things just feel horrible with no logical source. You felt paranoid and isolated despite being busy with writing, and the slightest amount of apartment noise panicked you. Dysphoria was at a weird, crooked peak. You usually called these nights 'Golden', for some sort of continuity from the author. For an even more concerning reason, everyone knew what this meant. How did that fanfic end, anyway...? Would it ever be finished? Nah, don't count on it.

 

You were so lost in thought you almost forgot to pick up! The familiar voice of the robot was grounding when you answered. "Hello darling!~" You could feel the smile through the phone.

 

"Hi, Ton-ton. How was work today?" 

 

"Oh, the usual. Yet again, I _slayed_ while my pesky co-stars managed to forget simple lines. Et toi, ma cher?" 

 

"It's been... Golden.? But like, lowkey golden. Like, plated rather than solid...? But maybe kind of solid. It's a cheap ring, probably from like... a mall stall. I have no idea. I'm kinda dead inside." You really couldn't put a word on it. Mettaton gasped. 

 

"Oh my love! You should've told me you weren't feeling well! I'll be right over!" He sounded sincerely wounded you hadn't spoken to him sooner! You worried what this would bring.

 

"No, I'll be okay I pro-" He hung up. You fell backwards onto your bed and groaned. You did want to see him, but you didn't want him to feel bad for you...? You weren't even sure you were a real person at the time, how were you going to interact with another person? You decided you better change into clean pajamas and migrate from bed into the living room. 

 

It was about half an hour when the robot knocked on the door. He was wielding several cups and bags, which you recognized as being from Muffet's bakery in town. 

 

"Hot spider chocolate, extra cream and marshmallows. That is how you like it, isn't it? And, I got a dozen doughnuts, some muffins for breakfast tomorrow. Oh! Alphys told me about this wonderful anime called.. Ouran? I think? The main character, uh, Haruhi? Hiyori? Hannah? Well, she's sorta like us! If you're under the weather something happy will help." He didn't give you time to react as he set everything down and ran into your bedroom. He returned in a few moments wearing pajamas. In his arms were a mountain of pillows and plushies. "Can you grab some sheets?" He dropped a stuffed animal and looked down at it with disdain, as if gravity was the root of all evil.

 

You raised a finger as if to protest, but sighed instead. You dug through the linen closet to find the supplies without saying a word. Just having him near you made you feel better. You oversaw production of the small fortress and sipped hot chocolate. When the structure was complete, you were comfortably cuddled into Mettaton. His lap was uncomfortable, as it was made of metal and silicone, but it didn't matter. Pretty soon, you'd be too immersed in weaboo trash to notice anyway. As the night went on, you definitely did feel better. Sincerely better. You weren't cured or anything, but something about doughnuts, hot chocolate, and singing "Kiss Kiss Fall In Love" made the world a little less meh. 

 

Sometimes you need crummy moments to remember where the good moments are, apparently. Maybe you just need a fictional robot boyfriend...? Next time you feel down, remember that there are people who love you. You don't have to hold yourself up all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translator note - "Et toi, ma cher?" is french for 'And you, my dear?'


	16. Tax Benefits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans has a surprise for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guess where I am for the week!!  
> ((Also, remember when I said 'regular updates'? my pie hole is a lie hole.))

You weren't sure what you were expecting, in full honesty. Sans became extra reclusive after the barrier fell. You lived your lives and most of your conversations were over text. It wasn't the worst, but you did miss his dumb face a bit. He bothered to call you and request you meet him in the city. It wasn't a long train ride, so you obliged. He sounded a little shaky on the phone. 

 

A lot of monsters lived in New York, as it was far enough away from Mt. Ebott to not remind them of their time there, and New Yorkers never noticed anything. Knight Knight, a seven foot tall mercenary who was a suit of armour, spent her time working retail and, apparently getting the job was easy. She wasn't even asked. Monster food trucks and magic healers sprung up like daisies, and everything reached a normalcy. 

 

You adjusted your scarf and hoped you were going to the right place. He was exactly where he said he'd be, on a bench in Central Park lazing around. He looked a lot more sullen from far away, and worry washed over you in waves. His clothes were clean, which was his way of looking "nice." 

 

"Yo, Sans." You pulled him into a hug. 

 

"hey, kiddo. how are you?" His voice was a low grumble, as if he had just woken up.

 

"It's been good. I got accepted into the school I want to go to, and I'm looking at apartments off-campus with my boyfriend, and... I don't know, it's just... been good." 

 

He escaped the hug and stared deep into your face. Your eyes met with his white lights. "you never told me about him." 

 

You looked away. "Oh, he's new, but not like, very new. We were friends before I fell and, things." You giggled uncomfortably. You thought you told him...? You probably did, actually. 

 

Sans did more staring at your face, looking it up and down. When he found what he was looking for, he sighed. "i, uh, wanted to ask you something. speaking of friends and falling." 

 

"Eh?" 

 

The air around the two of you changed from warm weather to confusion as he continued to speak. 

 

"we've been pals for a long time, y'know? and i care a lot about you, it feels pretty mutual and all. and, i was wondering if maybe you'd, or, uh, i need a moment." He fell silent. You stared at him blankly. 

 

Of all the things that could've happened next, it had to be _this._ He got off the park bench, and after a lot of creaking joints, he fell to one knee. He fiddled with the packaging to something, and pulled a ringpop out from somewhere. 

 

"marry me? for, uh, tax purposes." His expression was vulnerable. His whole being was shaken with anxiety. You slumped onto the ground with him and hugged him again. 

 

"I have someone, you know. I don't want to explain this to him, because I'm having a hard time being here for it..." Your voice trailed off. "This hurts both of us a lot but responsibly, I have to say---" 

 

"it's watermelon flavour." 

 

You briefly reconsidered your life choices as you took the ring and nodded to Sans. "I have to say yes, actually. He's dead to me." 

 

"you have really low standards, kid." 

 

"Watermelon is my favourite." You huffed and carried on with your candy. He took your hand at some point, and squeezed it. 

 

"that's fair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna have a part two, but I'm a little pressed for time rn! :U
> 
> Any ideas for part two are great <3


	17. Tax Benefits (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedded bliss, and a whole lot of bad choices.
> 
> sorry for the slow update!! i'm lazy!! i don't even have any excuses!!! i'm just too lazy!!

So, you and Sans had been married for two months now. For some reason, it didn't come as a surprise to anyone. Hell, as soon as you made it 'facebook' official, Undyne had amassed a small fortune. Your friends placed bets on it back when you were all underground. You tried to convince them it was a cheap tactic to get more money on your FAFSA, but they weren't taking it. They even made you have a 'real wedding' that Asgore officiated. Y'know, it wasn't supposed to be a 'real thing'. Then you went on a 'real date', and it all went downhill from there.

 

Closeness bred companionship over contempt. The two of you lived in a two bedroom apartment just outside of Manhattan, and spent lots of mornings sipping coffee on the porch together. You always cooked breakfast in the mornings and had nothing to stress about. You were in college, Sans had a well-paying job. You were both seeing therapists. You could say, accurately, that you were 'living the dream'. The sheer domesticness intimidated everyone else. It became sort of an in-joke in the "squad."

 

You were on the subway home from classes when you got a text.

[ayyyyy i got good news and bad news - s]

You sighed and replied. [the bad first please]

[our son made a mess in the bathroom - s]

[WE DONT HAVE SON WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT]

[surpriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise we have a dog now :0 also hey whats for dinner- s]

 

So.. it was something to look forward to. He hadn't included any pictures, which worried you. You arrived home and unlocked the door. Lo and behold, Sans held out a freshly bathed corgi. It had a spiked collar and a little blue heart tag that read 'Diesel'. It licked at your face -- leaping out of your husband's arms to do so. It was an older dog -- maybe three or four. You just kept blinking at it, waiting for an explanation. You should've expected an animal, as Sans' sudden desire to hoard fluffy things transcended fanfiction canon.

 

Sans scratched the back of his skull awkwardly. "so uh, that pokemon game that's out?" 

 

"You're supposed to catch fictional critters, not real ones." You tried to sound angry, but you kept giggling. Diesel had settled down in your arms and you cradled him like you would a toddler. You were in love already! 

 

"well like, that shelter down the street was like, 'hey, bring our dogs for a walk while you do your thing' and i was like, 'yeah, sure.' and i got lil' diesel here... we bonded. he's our kid now. we finally have a use for the spare bedroom." He reached out and tickled the tummy of the corgi. "he's the dumbest lil guy, and he looked so sad, and.." He sighed. 

 

You kissed his head and pulled him in for a hug. He seemed confused. "It's fine, but.. we have to announce it as if we actually have a child. You know, for the meme." You grinned at him wickedly. He already had his phone out. 

 

"i'm on it."

 

"Oh, and...? Does our landlord allow pets?" This was probably something you should've asked a long time ago. But, alas, it had slipped your mind in the moment. You set the dog down and it chased its nubby tail. 

 

"...that. is a good question. uh, probably not dogs." 

 

You continued to blink at him, concerned expression. "...Ah, right. How are we going to make this work?" You sat on the couch, smiling and covering your face with your palm. You were too tired and too energized for this all at once. 

 

The skeleton fell silent as minutes ticked by. You both struggled to come up with a solution. "well, we can't just /not/ keep him. what if we just... hide him...? for the most part anyway. he's pretty quiet...?" He sounded pretty unsure. Much in the same way one who regrets their decisions, he held the intruding corgi against his chest. 

 

"Meh. Our marriage somehow worked. I'm sure we can hide a dog." You yawned and stretched before wandering into your bedroom. You sat down and thought about everything for a moment. "...Worse comes to worse, we could buy a house. Or just live with Papyrus and Undyne and everyone else...? We could probably plan it right." 

 

"eh. worth it. all of it, i mean." He followed after you and nuzzled your forehead with his own. It was sorta like a kiss. "oh, and kid?" 

 

"Eh?" 

 

"what ever happened to that boyfriend of your's?" 

 

You thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah! He's... gone. Very gone. I sent him a very angry fish to break him the news after he refused it from me." 

 

"huh. i can't believe he's dead." 

 

In your pajamas, the two of you, and your "child" sat together for homemade supper and butterscotch pie. So you rushed into it, and didn't plan for everything, it was still _something_ and it was something that _worked._ In the midst of bad news and rainy weather, there was a little light. And it all began because a dumb skeleton proposed to you with a watermelon ringpop.


End file.
